Julia's Youth
by sinner saint
Summary: UNFINISHED - When Chris died, Anna thought she'd never smile again. But now, she has Julia, her little ray of hope. But her heartache isn't over yet. What trials will the teenage mother and her daughter have to face before they can be free?
1. PART ONE: A New Beginning

Julia's Youth

By Sinner Saint

_At 3 o'clock in the morning, on the 17th of June, at Timber Community Hospital, born to Anna Mackenzie and Christopher Heartilly (deceased), was a beautiful baby girl, Julia Liana. Anna Mackenzie wishes for everyone to know that Julia will be taking her father's name of Heartilly._

"So this is how you chose to live your life. I'm ashamed of you. I would have thought _you_ out of all your sisters would lead the respectable life."

"It's not up to you to dictate my life for me. I'm not ashamed of what I did."

Jonathon Mackenzie sighed with exasperation. His daughter was being difficult. She always seemed to be difficult these days.

"Anna, I'm not trying to dictate your life for you, but I don't think you know the consequences of your actions. You're a mother now. Do you understand that? You're only fifteen, just a young girl. And you've brought so much shame on our family. We're well respected, Anna. People don't expect us to be involved in scandal."

"Maybe they don't expect _you_ to be involved in scandal, but they don't know me. Nobody knows me! I don't care if I've ruined your precious reputation! All I know is that I don't want to be trapped in your stupid social circle, making endless visits and going to endless parties. Maybe Josephine and Rachel would, but it's not for me! And I'm not having Julia grow up in such a shallow, demoralised world."

"You can't expect to make it on your own out there. Look, Anna, I know I'm asking for a lot, but will you at least _consider_ adoption? Then we can forget this whole incident ever happened."

"Why don't you understand? I don't _want_ to give my daughter up. Why do you want to get rid of your granddaughter?"

"She's not my granddaughter. She's the child of…_that man_. I told you again and again to stop seeing him, but you never listened. Now look where it got you."

Julia started to cry, as if she knew how unwanted she was. Anna rushed over to her, clutching her to her body and rocking her. Julia was the only thing Anna had left of Chris…the only reminder of happy times.

Anna made up her mind; she didn't want to bring the baby up here, under her father's stern and unforgiving eye. But where else could she go?

Anna hated the idea of living alone on the streets. Maybe if she went to Chris's family…maybe they would take her in. Maybe.

Aimee felt the knock on the door before she heard it. She put down her duster and went to answer it.

"What do you want?" she asked the pitiful young girl stood on the front porch step.

"My dad kicked me out…could I stay with you for a while?"

Aimee looked Anna up and down; they had never really got on very well. As far as Aimee was concerned, it was entirely Anna's fault that Chris had died.

"Poor little rich girl…daddy isn't supporting you anymore. This must be quite a step down for you."

"Please…I have nowhere else to go. I'd be really grateful if Julia and I could stay here for a while." Anna pleaded, "I'll earn my keep…anything you want. Just please keep me off the streets…" Even Aimee could see the young girl's desperation. The streets of Timber were no place for a young woman, much less a newborn baby.

"…Fine. But only because Julia is half Chris. Otherwise I'd be turning you away."

"Thank you Aimee! You have no idea what this means to me!" Anna would have flung her arms around the older girl if she hadn't been grasping Julia to herself.

"Don't think I'm going easy on you. Well…you'd better come in…" Aimee stepped aside for the young mother and her baby to come through.

Over the next few weeks, Anna fell in love. Deeply, irrevocably. Julia, her little reminder of the past was her heart and soul. She and her daughter could make it, and, more importantly, they _would_ make it.

Even Aimee found it hard to resist Julia's smile…_Chris's smile_…It was almost like being a family again. Almost like having Chris back again. Almost.

Timber was at war _again_. Galbadia just couldn't seem to stay out of their business. Just because it bordered on their land didn't give them an excuse to try and take for themselves. Aimee hated Galbadia and everything it stood for; she hated the sorceresses and their power. But she hated Anna's family even more.

The Mackenzies were a prominent family in Timber, mixing with the right people, going to the right parties. They were upper class, not for the Heartillies to be messing around with.

Chris was just a boy on the wrong side of the railway tracks who happened to catch a glimpse of Anna as her limo went by.

He seemed to see her more and more often, and was falling more and more madly in love with her at every sighting. He asked around, but his heart sunk when he learned she was a Mackenzie. Mackenzies and Heartillies don't go together; not in this world. He had no chance; she was way out of his reach.

Aimee had tried to warn him not to get mixed up with her; he'd only get hurt. She wouldn't want him. After all, why would she have cotton when she could have silk? At the age of fourteen, Anna was a famous beauty in her social circles. All the older women were waiting for her to grow up properly, then they would compete to marry their sons to her.

Anna's other sisters, Josephine and Rachel were just as pretty, but nowhere near as refined. Anna knew how to charm an audience, Anna knew how to do everything a young lady was supposed to do to be well thought of and climb high in the social ranking.

Rachel was too young to know; she was only nine when Anna became pregnant, but Josephine, the eldest of the three, had a reputation. She shocked the dignified old women by declaring that she wanted to be an actress, and appalled her father by getting a boyfriend at the age of thirteen, then making out in front of him.

Josephine always hated Anna: Little Miss Perfect, always the favourite, daddy's girl. And now little Miss Perfect had done something that was not so perfect.

During the first few months of the pregnancy, Josephine had made sure that everyone knew that Anna was pregnant, and by _Chris Heartilly_, nonetheless. The well-known criminal and all-round lowlife. As the word spread, Anna lost her position in the social rounds, and Josephine began to climb.

Josephine took great delight in announcing that she had been invited to go to the Deling Ballet with the Kensingtons. That was something Anna had done every year since she was nine, and Josephine had never been invited to. Now the tables were turned; Anna was the black sheep, and Josephine couldn't be happier.

Aimee, on the other hand, was still grieving for her brother. He had been shot in the streets by Galbadians, on his way to see Anna. If only he hadn't been going to see her that day. If only he'd never met her, for that matter. If only…the two saddest words in existence.


	2. Cookies and Coffee

So, this was Anna's life now. She was still pretty well known, and she hated the people who stared at her as she walked by, pushing her little Julia in a pram. But she was glad she made the change. She didn't want her daughter to grow up in the same narrow-minded, arrogant way that she had. It had taken her fifteen years to look outside of her self-contained little world and see what was really there. It had taken her fifteen years to break free.

But now she was out on her own, or, at least, a little more independent than she was. She loved her daughter so much she thought she might burst. She wondered if all mothers went through the same feelings. She didn't know what she'd do without her little Julia.

This was obviously not the way she had expected everything to happen. It had all come to pass so fast; she still couldn't quite believe this was happening to her. Everybody saw it as such a bad thing, but, in her eyes, it was one of the best the things that ever happened to her. Julia was perfect. She loved every inch of her daughter, and although she knew that Julia could never replace her Chris, she'd never want her to.

Aimee was still cold towards her, but she loved Julia. It was hard not to. Even though she thought that Anna was the biggest stuck up cow and Chris was the biggest idiot for getting mixed up with her, she thought Julia was beautiful. And she could stand Anna, at least until they got on their feet.

The slums of Timber were far from an ideal place to raise a child, but it wasn't like they had a choice. Anna still couldn't quite get over how they lived on the other side of the train tracks. She was used to luxury; everything she could ever want at her beck and call. This was a crash-landing down to reality for her.

"No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong! Honestly, have you _ever_ done a hard day's work in your life?" Anna lowered her eyes to the floor.

"Listen, _princess_, you can't just feebly dab at them! How do you think we're going to get all that muck off? You have to put some effort into it!"

"I'm sorry Aimee. I've never done this before…"

"Well, I'm sorry I can't employ servants to wash up for us, but that's just the way it is. I can barely afford to feed three mouths…you need to get a job, or some source of income." Anna thought guiltily of the cheques from her father that she had torn up and thrown away. It was a matter of dignity. Aimee would understand, right?

"I know Julia isn't old enough to be left alone, and we can't afford a nursery, but there must be _something_ you could do! Come on, Anna! Think! Can you do _anything?_"

"I…I had piano lessons…"

"No Anna, I mean something _useful_. Look, just don't talk to me right now…you're doing my head in…" Aimee stormed out of the room.

Anna slumped down on a chair and started to cry. It was hard enough for her without Aimee making it a thousand times worse. Maybe she should accept those cheques…no, she didn't want to be a charity case. But then again, she supposed she already was. She practically had to _beg_ Aimee to take her in off the streets.

There had to be something…what could she do? She racked her brain long and hard, and then decided that she would go job hunting.

"Now what are you doing? Anna, you have to pull your weight around here!" Aimee stormed back in.

"Aimee, I know this afternoon is your morning off. I was wondering if maybe you could look after Julia for a while."

"Why?" Aimee asked suspiciously.

"I…I'm going to get a job…" Aimee looked stunned. Then she burst into peals of malicious laughter.

"What? What's so funny?" Anna asked, confused.

"You think people are actually going to hire you? You have no training, no skills, and no experience!"

"Well then I'll start from the bottom…"

"Fine. But don't expect to be successful." Anna turned towards the window, seething with rage. She wanted to slap Aimee's smug face, wipe that horrible smile away. Why couldn't Aimee at least _try_ to be nice to her? Well, Anna was going to show her.

She trailed desperately around the town centre, but to no avail. Everywhere she went she was either laughed at or patronised. Aimee was right. She was a useless, good-for-nothing spoilt little bitch.

She came to a halt in Immortal Street, the main shopping street. There…just over there was where she last saw Chris. She closed her eyes and tried to conjure his face up, but he was lost in the crowds of Saturday Shoppers. She sat on the bench where she had waited for him, on That Day.

Chris knew she was pregnant, and he would have married her. She wanted that more than anything else in the world. But her father messed things up completely for her.

_"No child of mine is marrying into that filthy scum family! I want you to have an abortion, then we can forget this whole thing ever happened."_

'Great Dad," she thought, 'Real supportive.'

_"I'm sorry Dad, but that won't be happening any time soon. I love Chris, and he loves me. Why can't you accept it?"_ After that, her father had stormed out.

She knew her father was in cahoots with the Galbadian soldiers. In her opinion, her family had acted like rats; once they saw Timber was all but lost to Galbadia, they fled the sunking ship and signed up on the other side.

She put her head in her hands and rocked back and forth, trying not to cry. Why was she so pathetic? All the flashbacks flooded in, overwhelming her, overtaking her completely.

Chris was waving at her, she got up smiling, ready to greet him. Suddenly, as if from nowhere, he was surrounded by Galbadian soldiers.

"Christopher Heartilly?" One asked. Chris's eyes darted around the street, assessing the situation.

"Hey, punk! Did you hear us?" another shoved him, hard. He stumbled backwards and fell to the cold, hard cobbles. Blood was streaming from his nose.

At this point, Anna was running towards them. "Chris! Chris!" she yelled. Big mistake.

"So it is Chris, is it?" Then the leader drew his gun. Chris struggled to his feet, determined to survive.

"Think you're getting away so easily, boy?" He pulled the trigger. Anna still heard the deafening bang as it echoed throughout the streets. She still heard the bullet tear through flesh and muscle; she heard Chris's last groan of pain as he slumped to the ground. She still saw his smouldering body in a heap. But most of all, she saw the blood. There was just too much blood everywhere.

"Hey beautiful, you okay?" a plump middle-aged woman bent over Anna as the tears streamed down her face.

"I…I'm f…fine…" she sniffed, trying to wipe all her hurt and pain away.

"I don't think so. Look, my house is just over there…why don't you come in for a cup of coffee and a cookie. I make the best cookies in all of Timber, you know. They'll make you feel better, I promise."

"I…I…"

"Chris used to adore them." Anna looked up at this. The woman's eyes were sparkling, hinting at the secrets to be discovered over cookies and coffee…

"So, Anna, how's little Julia? I saw your announcement in the paper. I can't imagine that went down well with your old man."

"Would you mind telling me who you are, first?"

"Of course. How stupid of me. I'm Catherine Walsh. Chris's Aunty on his mother's side, rest her soul."

"Oh…" she allowed herself to smile, "Chris always used to say how great his Aunty Cath was. But he never mentioned any cookies."

"Well, they are damn good, if I say so myself. Now, I hear you've been living with our Aimee. I've already told her not to be too hard on you, but she'll find it as tough as you do to adjust. Her father was very tough on those kids. Here you go," she set down a cup of coffee and a huge chocolate chip cookie for Anna.

"Thanks."

"So, Anna, what's been eating at you?" Anna stared down into her coffee. She wanted to tell someone, but was Cath really the right person?

"I…I went job hunting but I didn't get anything…" she said. Okay, it wasn't everything, but it was a start. And beside, what was she supposed to say, _"I can't stop seeing your dead nephew everywhere"_? Yep, that was a real conversation opener.

"Oh honey, I have just the thing!" Cath clapped her hands together in delight, "It's not much, but my friend Garth needs another waitress for his restaurant, ever since the last one left. It's a great way to earn experience. What do you think?"

"I think I love you," Anna flung her arms around Cath.

"Great, I'll set up an interview then!"

When Cath returned, Anna had finished her cookie and coffee.

"It's all set up, Anna. Can you do tomorrow? I'll look after Julia if you need me to. I've still not met my great niece."

"Thank you so much. Cath…can I ask you something about Chris?"

"Ask away honey."

"I…do you know why those soldiers shot him?"

"I can't say I do, sweetheart. Maybe it was just one of those things."

"But they knew his name! They had come looking for him!" she exclaimed.

"Well, I honestly don't know. I guess it's just a mystery."

"I guess." Anna got up, trying to force a smile. "I'll have to come round again for cookies. See you later Cath."

"Bye now honey. Don't let Aimee get you down." She called as Anna retreated down the street.

Everything that Cath had just said confirmed her suspicions. Now she needed to ask her father.


	3. Facing Her Demon

She lifted her finger to the intercom, and then pulled it away again. Should she? Less than a week ago she had promised herself that she would never come back here, yet here she was, ready to return.

Damn him.

Damn her father for everything. Her failed romance; her penniless existence; and, most of all, her broken heart. She felt like she was bleeding to death inside, and he would never notice. She had felt that way since Chris had died.

All he cared about was his reputation. There was no room for her. But she needed to know.

She pressed the buzzer.

"Mackenzie residence. May I ask who is there?" came the stale voice of the old butler.

"It's Anna. Can I come in?"

"Miss Anna? Terribly sorry, but your father has requested for you to be made persona non grata on this premises. Have a good day."

"Wait! Wait!"

"Yes, Miss Anna?"

"Please let me in…I need to talk to him…"

"Miss Anna, I don't think you quite comprehend how angry your father is at the minute with you. I think it would be better if you returned in a couple of days."

"A couple of days? Are you kidding me? For god sakes, you stupid old fart, let me in!" She screamed into the intercom. That felt good. Maybe she should try that more often.

"Miss Anna, I-"

"Annie?" a timid voice pushed him away.

"Rachel?"

"Anna! You're back!" the ten year old shrieked.

"Sweetie, could you tell daddy to let me in?" she asked.

"Of course Annie. Jo-Jo's been so nasty to me lately. Are you going to stay?"

"Rach, could you just get Dad?" She was losing her patience again.

"Just a minute, Annie…" she stood back and waited. Then, the gates swung open seamlessly, and she began to make her way up the drive towards the manor.

She knocked on the door and waited. Mary, the bitterest, coldest woman Anna had ever had the pleasure of knowing, opened the door.

"This way." She snapped. Mary was the housekeeper. She seemed to have gotten colder, if it were at all possible.

Anna followed her down the richly carpeted hallways, past portraits of various Mackenzies, into her father's study. He was sat by the fire, the perfect picture of nobility, smoking a pipe with the family dog lying faithfully at his feet. Bastard.

"Thank you, Mary. You may go now." Mary curtseyed and stalked off. Anna sat down in the chair opposite them.

How could she have been so blind? Why, in all her fifteen years, did she never see the poverty until she started living with Aimee? This house seemed like a hell to her now. Everyone in here was so selfish; how could they think it was right to live like this when there were people starving to death in the slums everyday?

"I see you have stopped this foolishness." He said.

"I…I'm not staying for long. I want to ask you something."

"Anna, don't be stupid. Just come home. You are always welcome here."

"And what about Julia?"

"I believe Chris has family too."

"You're unbelievable. All I want is to ask a question. With that attitude, I don't think that you'll be seeing me much anymore."

"Just ask the question then, Anna."

"Did you have anything to do with his death?"

"Anna…"

"Be honest. I need to know."

"Everybody knew that he was a criminal, Anna! Worse than that, he was rebelling against the Galbadians!"

"That's because it's _our_ country! He was just standing up for what he believed in!"

"I see he's filled your head with this mindless claptrap too."

"That's not the point. Give me a straight answer."

"I knew you were going to meet him that day. All I did was tell someone I knew who happened to be a Galbadian soldier. I never thought they'd kill him, Anna. Just give him a warning."

"You…you selfish, son of a bitch! Why? Could you not stand the thought of us being happy _together?_ I-I didn't want to think it was true, but…I hate you. I never, _ever_ want to speak to you again. I hate you! You hear me? I fucking hate you!" she slapped him, leaving a stark red mark stamped across his cheek.

He didn't even flinch.

"Anna. Look what you have turned into; a raving lunatic using _filthy_ language. I'm deeply ashamed of you, Anna." She screamed in anger and frustration, and then stormed out of her old home.     

When she returned to her new home, the anger subsided and gave way to despair. She felt like she had been sucked into a black hole and could never get out again. She wanted to cry until she couldn't cry anymore, let her tears wash away all the pain and anger, until there was nothing left but a raw shell.

But she couldn't.

She tried, really, she did. She was almost forcing the tears to come, but she felt stifled. She felt alone. She needed somebody to help her, somebody to love her. She needed Chris.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…it's my fault you died…all my fault. You should be here now, instead of me…no, we should be together. God, I messed it all up for us…" the tears finally began to fall. She almost felt a hand on her shoulder, but no. It was only her imagination.

"Don't leave me alone, Chris…don't go…please…" she curled up in a ball, like a little girl, desperate for any kind of comfort. At only fifteen, she felt like she had lived forever.

"I'm home!" Aimee called from the front door, "Anna?" she said, as she saw the young girl curled up in a ball, shaking with tears.

"Anna? What's wrong?" She put Julia's pram in the corner, and then hurried over to where Anna lay.

"Did you not get a job?" she asked kindly, "I did tell you, you know…"

"N…no…it's not that…I got an interview…but…but…"

"What is it?"

"I…I can't do this alone…" she sobbed, clinging onto Aimee as if her life depended on it.

"You have me. I mean, I know we have our differences, but I'll always help you look after Julia…"

"Aimee…" she started. But she stopped herself. Maybe it was better that Aimee never knew about her father, and the horrible, horrible thing he had done.

"It's okay…it'll be okay…" Aimee soothed her. Anna couldn't believe the change that she had just witnessed in Aimee. Perhaps she wasn't so bad after all…

When Anna had told Aimee that she played the piano before, she had no intention of telling her how good she was. The truth was, she was excellent. She would play all the time at home, until her parents got sick of it and told her to go and do something else. She never played in public though; it was her instinct to downplay the whole thing. 

Right now, she really wanted to play.

She loved the way she could just glide up and down the piano, playing a smooth melody, and the way the music poured from her fingers. If she closed her eyes and breathed in the music, she could imagine she was flying.

Playing the piano was just one of those things that all well-brought-up children of Timber were expected to do. But very few could do it as well as Anna. Her teacher had told her that she might be able to be a professional one day if she kept it up.

That was not what her father wanted to hear.

"Of course she's wonderful…but I think she'll find her place with a good man, rather than with a bunch of scruffy musicians…no offence…"

In her father's opinion, all musicians were alcoholics with nothing better to do than to sit around all day getting blind drunk and starting fights. Anna, of course, would be much better off if she could just find a good husband.

That was all her father ever thought about; living with him was like living in the Stone Age; all women were good for was having sons.

Maybe that was why her own mother had been so disappointing; she had died giving birth to a son. The baby himself barely survived three days. Anna was seven when her mother died. She hardly thought of her anymore.

So he was a single man, landed with three daughters, two of whom were too rebellious to match up respectably, and one of whom was still only a child. He must be disappointed.

She couldn't believe she had lasted fifteen years in that house without realising what a sham her whole life had been. She had been living in a cage without even realising it. And while she was pregnant with Julia, it was like being in a room crowded with people, and not one of them could hear her screaming.

She felt so isolated.

All she wanted was a place to call home; really call home, and somebody who would love her unconditionally. Maybe, she would, one day. Maybe if she got this job, she and Julia could get their own place, just the two of them.

She had to get this job. She needed to get it for Julia; she wanted to be there for her baby girl, and she would. And even if she didn't get this job, she would get one. Suddenly, the future didn't seem all that threatening. This was just a new beginning for her, and she could make it. She wasn't going to let herself be stifled anymore. For Julia.


	4. Downtown Upbeat and A Night to Remember

Downtown Upbeat. That was the name of the restaurant. Anna loved it from the moment she saw it; she loved the corny name, and the way that the sign had letters missing. She loved the way the cigarette smoke enveloped you as you walked in the door, and the dusty old grand piano in the corner. But most of all she loved it because it was the kind of place her father would hate.

Garth was a lively middle-aged man wearing trousers that were too big for him and a jacket that was too small. When he smiled his teeth glittered with gold.

"You must be Anna! Come in, come in. Cath has told me so much about you!" he smiled at her and she felt instantly welcome.

"You've got a great place here," she said, staring around.

"Now, now. Flattery won't help you get this job," he replied.

"No, I mean it. I love it. Even if I don't get this job, you can bet I'll be back here as a customer."

"Well, I'll look forward to seeing you either way, shall I? Anyway, on with the interview. Do you have any experience as a waitress?"

"Well, no…but I'm sure I could learn."

"Mhm…what motivates you to work hard?"

"Lots of things. But, I suppose I just want to do well. And, also, I suppose, my daughter, Julia," she said. Okay, okay. She knew perfectly well what she was doing, playing the sympathy card.

"You have a daughter? You're so young! What do your parents think?"

"Well, my mother's dead, and my dad kicked me out."

"I see. Wait a minute, you're the Mackenzie girl, aren't you?"

"I see gossip doesn't miss anybody out."

"Terrible situation. Truly terrible. Chris was a nice young man. He used to come down here a lot. It's a real shame what happened to him."

"Well, I suppose all we can do now is move on," she forced her lips into a smile, even though she wanted to burst into tears.

"Indeed. Indeed. Anyway, where was I?" he smiled at her then checked his notes. Suddenly, he threw them to the floor, "Oh, sod this! We both know you'll get the job anyway. Well done, Anna. When can you start?"

"Are you serious?" Anna leapt up and hugged him, "Oh, sorry…" she remembered what the circumstances were and pulled away shyly.

"I…I can start as soon as you want…" she said, not quite meeting his eye.

"Is tonight soon enough?"

She was more than surprised to find Aimee waiting outside for her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Did you get it?" Aimee certainly wasn't wasting any time.

"I got it!" she screamed. Aimee grabbed her in a hug and they were both jumping up and down with happiness. They certainly got a few strange looks.

Anna wondered what had brought about this sudden change in Aimee. Was it because she was actually trying now? Or had she just had a change of heart?

"When do you start?"

"Tonight!" Aimee hugged her again and they walked arm in arm down the street together to go and pick up Julia.

Downtown Upbeat came alive at night. The neon sign flickered in a somewhat dodgy way, but that just made Anna love it even more.

As she entered, she was engulfed in the loud chattering and soft jazz music that floated across the room. She could barely see anything; it was lit only by candles and the stage lights for the jazz band.

She made her was across the crowded space, trying not to trip over people and making what felt like hundreds of apologies as she did. She squinted around in the darkness and located Garth. He was chatting away, gold teeth glinting manically in the candlelight.

He looked over and spotted her.

"Anna!" he waved her over enthusiastically.

"Hi Garth."

"This is Haley, my other waitress. She'll show you where everything is. Be nice now, Haley! It's her first day!"

Haley was a tall blonde with too many body piercings to count. She grinned at Anna and led her through into a back room.

"Your uniform's there, put it on, and I'll show you what to do." Anna did as she was told.

"So, what are you, a mute? Why don't you say something?" Haley asked as she emerged in her new uniform.

"Sorry…I'm just a bit nervous…"

"Well don't be. This isn't that kind of place. Just relax. I mean, this is hardly a five star place, is it?" She gave Anna a once over, and then raised her eyebrow. Anna desperately wanted to ask her what the problem was but decided against it.

"Right, come with me, I'll show you around."

Over the next few days Anna learned the ropes, and she soon had her own little fan club of customers. She found it easy to charm them, which usually resulted in bigger tips. She loved the restaurant; its lively atmosphere, the way how all the people were so warm and open. And she made a new friend in Haley.

But she couldn't truly relax.

She could never relax.

Not as long as Chris was at the back of her mind.

It was like his ghost was haunting her; she knew he loved this place too, and to her, it still felt like a little part of him had remained. Sometimes she was so sure he was there that she found herself looking for him. She was always sorely disappointed.

She thought she was going insane.

She felt like nothing could pull her out of her depression.

Until one day she sat down and played the piano.

She had arrived early on this particular day, just so she could be alone for a while. Garth understood. He always understood.

She found herself sitting down at the piano and her fingers making the familiar shapes. She closed her eyes and played.

It was like a relief from all the pressures of the outside world that were constantly pushing in on her. She didn't take any notice of what she was playing; she just lost herself in the music.

The music was everything to her; she twirled and danced, and remembered happier times, when she was still a little kid.

Suddenly she knew what she was playing.

It was _that _song.

Why did it have to be that song?

But now she had started, she found she couldn't stop. She was spinning faster and faster, back in time.

And then she was there.

Anna was thirteen again and in a crowded dance hall. She stayed close to Josephine, as she had been instructed to do. She smiled and nodded and made light conversation, as all good little rich girls are supposed to do at this type of party.

This was the first real party Anna had been to. Before her father has said she was too young. Now, here she was, in a brand new baby blue dress that she _adored_, and her hair done properly, like a real lady.

Chris smiled and nodded, but didn't say anything. He just poured the wine. He hadn't wanted to go to this stupid party, but his mother had made him.

"Aimee's going! You go too! Why are you so selfish? It's about time you started bringing in some money around here! It'll help the family!"

So he was roped in to wait on the stupid arseholes that were Timber's so-called "elites". What a drag. He could be doing something much better right now, instead of being looked down on by people whose noses were so big it was a wonder they could see anything at all.

"You boy! More wine, I think!"

"Oh, no dear! I think I've had far too much already. I shall get quite tipsy!" Chris smiled as best as he could. The woman was holding out her glass anyway, despite her protests.

That was when he saw _her._

It was her, the girl in the limo! He had seen her before, just passing by. She was deeply involved in conversation with some old boy. No doubt about something fascinating and important, like the weather, or the latest fashions.

She was way out of his league.

She was probably a snooty bitch who wouldn't look twice at him.

And yet, he found himself making a beeline for her.

"More wine?" he inquired.

"No, I'm fine, thank you. And my young friend here is too young for alcohol."

Too young? He thought she was fifteen, like him, at least. Surely that was old enough for alcohol?

Aimee was watching from across the room. Her mother had instructed her to keep an eye on him, and he seemed to be doing okay. Wait a minute…was he looking down her dress?

She almost ran over to him.

Anna found herself staring at the young man. He wasn't exceptionally good-looking, but there was something about his eyes…deep, deep brown that seemed to be looking right inside her.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Chris, I need your help with something…" A bossy redhead type dragged him away, but Anna found herself staring after him, and was pleased to see he was staring at her too. Chris…

"What were you doing?" Aimee hissed as soon as they got out of earshot.

"Just pouring wine. That's my job, isn't it?"

"You weren't _just _pouring wine. Don't act all innocent with me…you were perving on her!"

"No, I wasn't!" Chris said indignantly, although she was right.

"Do you even know who that is?" Aimee spat.

"No…should I?"

"That's Anna Mackenzie. Daughter of Mr-big-man Mackenzie. You know, the one who had dad put in jail? Look, stay away from her, or you might end up in the same place as Dad, okay?"

Anna Mackenzie? Well, any slither of a chance he might have had was just thrown out of the window.

"Okay…" he agreed reluctantly. But when he turned around she was still staring at him.

Now she was coming this way.

"Excuse me. I…I'd like some wine…" she stammered. _Great Anna, great way to make conversation…_ she thought.

"I thought you were too young?" He wanted to slap himself in the face for this comment. _Shut up, Chris. She might actually like you. Don't blow it!_

"Well yes, but I just wanted an excuse to talk to you," she found herself saying. _Smooth Anna, real smooth._

"So you're Anna Mackenzie, huh?" he asked. _Real original, Chris._

"Yes. What's your name?" she asked.

"Chris. Heartilly…" Suddenly, the string quartet struck up with a new song.

"Oh! This is one of my favourites!" she squealed, then felt herself blushing. _Well done Anna, you are now officially a little kid…_

"Do you want to dance?" he blurted, before he could stop himself. _Prepare to be shot down…_

"Okay…" He was stunned. Here he was, dancing with _Anna Mackenzie_. One of the richest, most beautiful girls in Timber. Suddenly, they were wrenched apart.

"Anna! What do you think you're doing?" he father was stood over them. He was already dragging her away. Chris could see he was going ballistic at her, but she didn't look like she was listening. She was mouthing something at him.

_"Meet me in the park tomorrow…"_ He smiled and nodded. He felt like punching the air in victory. Anna Mackenzie wanted to see him again. _Anna Mackenzie!_

"Anna?"

"Wh-what? Oh sorry. Garth. Got a little lost in my thoughts there…"

"Well, we're opening in a minute, so get your uniform on…"


	5. Let's Play Pretend

"Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday dear Anna,

Happy Birthday to you!"

Anna couldn't believe it. Was she sixteen already?

Her small group of friends sat around the table, beaming at her. All her old friends had abandoned her after she became pregnant, but her new ones were even better. There were nowhere near as many, but at least she knew they were honest, not phonies like the rich girls she used to hang out with.

Aimee, Garth, Cath, Haley and of course, Julia, sat around beaming at her.

"Now Anna, we all pitched in to buy you one present, and we hope you like it!" Cath said as Garth put the huge package on the table. Anna had been eyeing it all morning.

If she was at her father's house right now, they would be running around making preparations for a huge party to celebrate. As it was, Anna preferred sitting in Downtown Upbeat with the few people who really cared about her.

She opened the parcel eagerly.

"Oh my god! You guys!" she exclaimed, her smile getting even wider.

"Well, I hope it comes in handy," Garth replied, beaming.

It was a piano. Well, a keyboard actually. But still, she had her own piano to practice on now. She couldn't be happier.

Cath winked at her and handed her a slip of paper.

"This one's just from me, hon. I hope you make good use of it."

Anna unfolded the paper. There, in Cath's scribbled handwriting, was the recipe for cookies.

"This is the best birthday _ever_," she said happily.

There was a letter waiting for her when she got home.

She tore it open.

"Dear Anna, happy birthday.

From someone who cares."

That was all it said.

"Aimee?" she called.

"What?"

"Do you know who this is from?" Anna handed her the note.

"No. Come on, I got the keyboard set up. Come and play something for me, okay?"

Anna smiled and left the note on the little table. She soon forgot all about it.

"Come on, we're nearly there…" 

"Where are you taking me?"

"Here." Immortal Street. Chris held her hand and they walked down it together. It was completely deserted.

"You see Anna? It's not so bad."

"What are you talking about?"

"This moment. Watch." He instructed her. There was Anna, sat on a bench, minding her own business. There was Chris, walking along, mini=ding his own business.

Anna couldn't tear her eyes away as she watched the whole horrible scene unfold before her. She was forced to watch Chris fall lifelessly to the floor again. How many times was she going to be forced to go through this?

"You see. It is really your fault after all," Chris said to her.

"What?"

"Play pretend, Anna. Let's play pretend. Let's act like you weren't there, like you didn't tell them who I was, like it wasn't your own frikkin father who told them to kill me in the first place! That's right, Anna. Play pretend." He started laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" she asked, taken aback by his behaviour.

"It's frikkin hysterical, Anna. Don't you get it? You killed me! _You_ killed _me_!" The world around her faded.

She woke up in a cold sweat, shaking all over.

_'Just a dream, nothing more than a dream…'_ she thought, trying to get rid of it from her mind. But she couldn't. That wasn't Chris…that horrible, hysterical man wasn't Chris. He was someone else. He had to be.

"Anyway," she whispered, "What does it matter? It was just a dream anyway."

She checked the clock. It was three in the morning. And a Monday. How depressing.

She couldn't go back to sleep, not now. Instead she crept downstairs to where her piano was. She plugged the headphones in so as not to wake Aimee, and began to play.

For the first time in her life, Anna was writing her own song. She didn't know whether or not she would actually play it for anybody; she just wanted to write her feelings down. Maybe that would be enough.

She didn't want to sing it, for fear of waking Aimee. Instead, she hummed it softly under her breath. She could sing; it was another of those mandatory lessons all Mackenzie girls had to take. She let the words pour out from her being; swallowing her up. They were real, they were true.

_'Just another Monday morning_

_Wake up and see the sky_

_Try to forget my life, what's happening_

_And just try to get by_

_Let's play pretend_

_Like it never happened_

_Try to forget you,_

_Banish you from my mind._

_Let's play pretend_

_Like you never existed_

_Like you never left_

_Like I never loved you._

_Another day, a new beginning_

_Another opportunity_

_To be stupid, to be young_

_To close our eyes and never see_

_Close your eyes,_

_Then maybe it won't happen anymore_

_Close your eyes_

_Maybe you'll exist again_

_Let's pretend we were important_

_Pretend we mattered_

_Pretend we won't disappear and never be missed_

_Let's play pretend_

_Like it never happened_

_Try to forget you,_

_Banish you from my mind._

_Let's play pretend_

_Like you never existed_

_Like you never left_

Like I never loved you.'

She finished her song. There, she felt a lot better now. She even liked the tune she had come up with. So what if nobody else would ever hear it? It was her special secret, her own private thoughts. She even had a name for it; "Let's Play Pretend".

She heard Julia begin to wail. She ran upstairs before she woke Aimee and began to rock her back to sleep.

She found that she was singing her song. That only seemed to make Julia cry harder.

"Shhhh. It wasn't that bad, was it?" Anna asked, cuddling Julia against her.

"My little girl…we'll make it, the two of us, won't we? You and me together. We'll show them all, won't we?" Julia had stopped crying and was sleeping soundly. Anna put her carefully back in the cot.

"You'll never know how much I love you…" Anna whispered. She looked like a little angel while she was sleeping.

_"I wish you were here with me…"_ Anna whispered out of the window, to the stars. She found herself crying, her whole body shaking with sobs. But nobody came to offer any kind of comfort. She was alone. As she always would be from now on.

A thirteen-year-old girl waited in the park. She was wearing an old coat, and her face was scrubbed clean of makeup. But she was still beautiful enough to attract the attention of passers-by.

She had to be sixteen, at the least, didn't she? At least, that was what they all thought as they stared at her.

"Chris! Over here!" she suddenly shouted, waving to a boy.

He jogged over.

"I'm glad you made it…" she said. She didn't know quite what she was going to say to him. She hadn't made it that far in her plans. All she knew was that she had to see him again.

"How did you get away from your old man?" he asked, staring at her.

"He's always busy with something or other. I slipped the butler a twenty and ran like hell," she said with a smile.

"You bribed your own butler?" Chris asked incredulously. What he was really thinking was, _'She has a butler? God, I'm in way over my head here…'_

"Well I wanted to see you again," she replied.

As it turned out, conversation wasn't such a big problem. They were getting on like a house on fire. Once they got past the initial shyness, they couldn't stop talking. Anna had never been able to talk so openly with anyone like this before.

She glanced at her watch.

"Oh! I have to go! My dad might notice I'm gone soon…" she said, getting up.

"Wait! When can we see each other again?" he asked, jumping up after her.

"Tomorrow. Park again?"

"Yeah. Same time?"

"Sounds good to me." Chris smiled. Anna glanced around warily, then lent over to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"I have to go now. Bye!" she said, before sprinting off into the distance.


	6. Blue Eyes

Anna went through the motions of her every day life. But, right at the back of her mind was the niggling little thought:

It's my fault.

The guilt was close to overpowering when she was alone, but when she was busy, or with friends, it almost went away. Almost.

She could see that Julia was going to grow up to look like her, but with one exception; Julia's eyes were brown, like Chris's.

But Julia's hair was the same chestnut shiny brown as Anna's, her face was the same heart shape, and she had the same delicate smile. But Anna's eyes were blue.

She remembered when she was a little girl, and her grandma would play with her.

"Your eyes are beautiful, Anna. They're different too. Everybody else's in the family are brown."

"Why is that Nana?"

"Because, sweetie, the elements that run inside us. Our life essence. My life essence is earth. Yours is water. Water runs through you. Water makes you vibrant and alive."

She distinctly remembered reaching up to her grandmother, wanting a closer look at her eyes, to see if they really were made of earth. She was disappointed when they weren't, but her grandmother just laughed.

She still found it hard to believe she was dead.

Anna shook herself from the fond memory and turned backed to Julia. Yes, her brown eyes could have inherited from her grandparents, but Anna knew instinctively that they were Chris's. They had the same way of lighting up when she smiled.

She heard a knock on the door.

She left Julia in her cot and went to answer it.

"What are you doing here?"

"Dad was right. You're living in a hovel."

"It's not a hovel. Just because it's not a mansion. We can't all afford to be spoilt princesses."

"Says you," Jo sneered.

"Why are you even here?" Anna asked, becoming annoyed.

"I wanted to meet my niece."

"You disowned us. Go away."

"Dad disowned you."

"Well, you agreed with him!"

"I changed my mind."

"Go away, Jo. It's your fault that everybody looks down on me now. It's your fault that they call me a whore when they think I can't hear them. Why should I let _you_ of all people see Julia?"

"I can help you."

"Help me do what?" Anna was suddenly suspicious.

"Get back on Daddy's good side, of course." She said, in a sickly sweet tone of voice.

"I don't want anything to do with him. He ruined my life."

"Well then," she said, an evil glitter in her eye, "I can help you get back at him."

"Go away Jo."

"Have it your way. I can't believe I walked through the _slums_ to get here. God, what kind of animals actually _live_ in this filth?" she asked as she turned away.

Anna wanted to scream at her, to hurl something at her, to make her realise how much she had upset her. She settled with slamming the door as loud as she could. Then she cursed when Julia started crying.

She went early to the restaurant to help set up. As usual, the place was deserted apart from her and Garth, who had urgent business to attend to in his office. She was just sat around, waiting for Haley to show.

After waiting for ten minutes, she got bored and found herself going over to the piano. She sat down and placed her slender fingers over the keys as though it was the most natural thing in the world. Well, for Anna, it was.

As she started playing, she realised she was singing her own song. The one she swore never to play to anybody else. Oh well. Garth probably couldn't hear anyway.

"Yes…yes, I know…I know, okay?" Garth was getting annoyed with this phone call. He sighed and drummed his fingers on the desk. He could hear Anna playing the piano in the main room, but it wasn't a tune he recognised. He heard a rich, melodious voice soaring above the calm sound of the piano. Was that…Anna? The song she was playing was damn good too.

"Listen, Saul, I gotta go…" he put the phone down and walked into the main room. It was Anna singing. She didn't notice him. He waited in silence until the song was over. Then he applauded.

Anna spun round. She hadn't even seen him come in.

"What song's that, Anna?" he asked, walking towards her.

"It's called…Let's Play Pretend…" she said, blushing. She hadn't meant to let anybody else hear it. It was like he had seen a part of her that was only meant for her. It was the part that had sealed up when Chris died.

"Where did you learn it?"

"I…I wrote it myself," she said, blushing even harder. She was staring at her feet in their neat, polished black shoes.

"Maybe you could play it for us all one evening?"

""Wh-what? As in, when there are customers here?"

"It's a great song, Anna. You might be famous one day."

"I doubt it."

"Will you play it for us sometime? If that goes down well, maybe I can sign you on as a weekly performer?"

"Me?"

"Is there anybody else in this room?"

"I…I'd love to," she blurted before she could stop herself.

"Great," he said, flashing her a grin with his golden mouth.

"Where on earth have you been, Miss Anna?" the maid enquired the minute she walked in the door.

"I went for a walk. Surely the butler informed you," she replied, acting as good as gold.

"Miss Anna, you know very well not to go out alone. There are people out there who would take advantage of a beautiful young girl such as yourself. You wait until your father hears about this."

"No, Rosie, please don't say anything to him," she begged.

"Not unless you tell me what you were _really_ doing out there."

"I…I was meeting a friend."

"Which friend?" she asked suspiciously.

"Erm…someone you wouldn't know…" Anna knew if she said Chris Heartilly, Rosie would tell her father right away. Chris's father was a notorious criminal; he was now in jail.

"Tell me, or else, Miss Anna."

"Well…" suddenly, she had a flash of inspiration, "Actually, I…I went to see mother's grave. I…I didn't want to say anything. I go every month, it's a private thing for me."

Rosie's face softened.

_Well, Anna, you officially deserve to rot in hell after that lie,_ she thought,_ Using your mother like that. Shame on you!_

"I won't mention it," Rosie said, giving Anna a pat on the back.

Anna raced up to her room. She brushed out her long, chestnut brown hair in the mirror, whilst wishing it was blonde. Then she just stared at herself, staring at her eyes.

_The water that runs within me,_ she thought.


	7. My Dearest Wish

Chapter 7 – My Dearest Wish 

Her heart was thumping as she sat down at the piano. She was aware that the usually noisy room had gone silent, and that scared her even more.

She could feel how everybody's eyes were on her. She flashed a tentative smile at Cath and Aimee, who sat with Julia.

For the past five days, Anna had been working flat out on some new songs to play for everyone; she couldn't just go up there with the one. She could feel herself shaking all over. What would she do if nobody liked it? After all, only Garth, Aimee and Cath had heard her songs up until now, and she knew that their opinions would be biased.

She looked down at her dress; she had chosen to wear the one she had worn two years ago, when she first met Chris. Granted, it was getting a little small for her now, and she looked out of place in her surroundings, but it was the closest thing she had to a sort of jazzy, cocktail dress. Plus she needed it to bring her luck.

She took a deep breath and placed her fingers over the keys.

As she set into her first number (an upbeat piece called "Crawling Up a Hill"), she felt a strange sense of calm come over her. So what if nobody liked her? She liked her songs, and that was what mattered.

When she finished, she was greeting with riotous applause. She felt herself smiling and nodding at the audience. So this was what performing was all about. Before, she never understood why people would put themselves out there like that, but now she did. Now she understood what people were talking about when they spoke of the glamour of the stage. And the best part was, she was a performer too. She was a part of it all.

She soon found herself coming to the end of her set, coming up to her grand finale. She was attacked by nerves again. _Let's Play Pretend_ was such a personal song to her. Did she really want to expose herself to the audience? Everything in it had come straight from her heart. Everything about it brought the memories of Chris rushing back.

She glanced at Garth. He gave an encouraging nod. _Go on. Play it for us._

She swallowed her hears back and started the song. She couldn't help but think of Chris when she played it. Everything came rushing back. She felt like he was right there beside her. She felt like she was back in that party where they first met, wearing her grown-up dress. She felt like she wanted to tear his grave up and crawl in there with him.

She realised she was crying when she finished. She wiped away her tears, and then became conscious of the fact that there was no applause. Everyone was just staring at her. She wiped away her tears and tried to smile.

"Th…Thank you…" she muttered into the microphone. Then the applause burst out. It was so deafening that at first she was almost knocked backwards.

People in the audience were crying.

And she knew straight away that she wanted to carry on playing for them every night.

She had been playing at the restaurant for a while now, and even had her own established mini fan club. She loved the attention she got; it was almost like the old days, except this time, it wasn't because her father was so rich; it was because of _her_. Her own talents had brought her this far.

She had written several more songs, but none were as real as her first. She had vowed never to play _Let's Play Pretend_ again. It was too personal for her. She had written it for herself, and that was how it was going to stay.

She had even bought a new dress. It was beautiful; she had fallen in love with it instantly. It was red and strappy and long with a slit up the side. She even had a matching pair of shoes to go with it. It was perfect for a jazz bar.

Jo knew enough people to know of her sister's knew-found fame, and she was not happy about it. She thought she had seen the last of her; she was sure she would be slowly pulled under by the way of life down in the slums. Jo shuddered just thinking about it.

She made her way down towards this "Jazz Bar", not really knowing what to expect. She didn't know what she was going to find there; she just wanted to see Anna.

"Downtown Upbeat?" she muttered with a little snort as she entered. Honestly, who could stand to come here? The place stank of smoke and alcohol. She debated whether going inside at all was a good idea.

She stepped over the threshold into the noisy, lively atmosphere. How awful. Suddenly, everybody went quiet, and she saw Anna take the stage.

_Perfect Timing…_ she thought, taking a seat towards the back.

Jo couldn't deny that Anna was good, very good. She even found herself enjoying it a little, before she recalled her surroundings. To think, Anna had lowered herself to this, and just for _that man's_ child!

Even so, Jo couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy as the crowd burst into a raucous applause.

She waited until Anna had finished her set, and then she followed her into the back room. Jo was never very good with envy; she always had to be the best, top of the pile. Perhaps that was why she detested Anna so much.

"I bet you think you're so smart, don't you?" Jo sneered. Anna visibly jumped and turned around.

"What are you doing back here? This place is for employees and performers only!"

"Do you have a problem with me being backstage, Anna?"

"Tell me what you want Jo, then go away."

"My, my. You _are_ rude these days, aren't you?"

"Jo…" Anna said through clenched teeth.

"It's Josephine now. I just wanted to congratulate you on your _job_; you're doing rather well for yourself."

"Th…thank you…" Anna stammered.

"You know, I bet Chris used to bring you here, didn't he?"

"Well, actually…" Anna began.

"I can just see the two of you now…it was probably a wonder you weren't thrown out for indecent behaviour."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't try and act the innocent with _me_, Anna. I heard the rumours. You two were all over each other; it's no wonder you got pregnant. Then again, I guess I shouldn't expect anymore from Christopher Heartilly. The whole family are criminals."

"Jo, I'm warning you…"

"The sister, Aimee, is that her name? She's a well-known shoplifter. And…whatshername, Catherine…I bet she's doing underhanded business too. You can't expect them to be law-abiding. And as for Chris, well, he was the worst of the lot, stealing, and I heard he beat quite a few people up in his time…not to mention all the _other women…_"

"Shut up!" Anna screamed, "Why do you always do this? Why? The people you're talking about are _good, honest_ people, and they deserve a hell of a lot more respect than you ever did or ever will do! And as for Chris…I'd give anything to see him again…"

"Oh…are you going to cry now? Look at you, your _beautiful_ big blue eyes are just filling up…"

"Jo…I'll tell you one more time, _get out_."

"I expect I'll see you again soon. Say hello to my niece for me." Jo smiled and turned away, acting as though nothing had ever happened.

The minute the door was shut, Anna sunk to the floor, the tears threatening to come for real. She didn't want Jo to see her cry. She didn't want Jo to know that she'd hit a sore spot.

Despite her words earlier, Anna was starting to feel a twinge of doubt. What if Chris really had had other girls? What if everything he had told her was a lie? She knew it was stupid; she loved and trusted Chris, but she felt on the edge lately.

She looked into the mirror in the corner of the room, imagining that Chris was beside her.

"My one dearest wish is to climb right inside your grave and lie down beside you…" she said aloud, touching the mirror gently with her hand. The tears overwhelmed her and she found herself sobbing.

"Anna? Anna, are you okay?" Garth's concerned voice floated through the corridors. It didn't reach her; she felt as though she were wrapped up in cotton wool and Garth's voice was a distant melody.

She wasn't aware of the strong arms that held her, or the shoulder that she sobbed into. She could only hear Chris's voice. She could only think about her own consuming g#8uilt.

Anna couldn't believe she was back _here_. She couldn't believe she had come, after everything these people had put her through.

She rang the buzzer.

"Mackenzie residence, may I ask who is there?" the familiar old voice came from the other side.

"It's Anna. My father asked me to come and see him."

"Ah yes. Just a moment please," the gates swung open and she made her way up to the main house.

There seemed to be an entire legion of maids waiting for Anna as she approached the front door. She wondered what on earth the problem was.

"Miss Anna, right this way, please," one of the maids ushered her in and up to her father's bedroom.

_Something's wrong…_ Anna thought as she entered.

Her father was sprawled across his bed, half-asleep. The curtains were shut and the lights were dimmed.

"Anna?" he asked vaguely.

"Yes…what's happened?"

"I'm ill, Anna. Very ill indeed. The doctors say it's lung cancer…because I smoke so much. If I'd spotted it earlier, then…"

"You're going to die?" Anna asked. She couldn't help but feel a sharp stab of emotion. Even if he was an arsehole, he was still her father.

"I know, it's probably what you've wanted all along. I don't blame you for hating me, Anna. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for everything. I only did it because I cared about you…"

Anna felt her eyes watering. It was twisted logic, and didn't make any sense at all, but she knew he was telling the truth. Despite all his faults, he really had cared about her, in his own, strange little way.

"Dad…you can't right all your wrongs in one action."

"I know, I know…"

"I don't forgive you. But…I am willing to accept you…"

"I suppose that's the best I could hope for…" He started coughing, a hacking cough that made the furniture vibrate. Anna sat by her father and stayed with him, just talking about how times used to be.

A month later, her father passed away. He simply slipped away from life in the middle of the night. Anna didn't shed a single tear for him. She was still grieving for Chris.

Julia continued to grow, and it was more and more apparent that she had Chris's smile and eyes. Anna would show her a picture of Chris every night before she went to sleep.

One night, before bedtime, Anna was showing Julia the picture of Chris. Suddenly, she pointed at it, her chubby finger smudging the glass of the frame a little.

"Dad," she said simply. Anna was speechless.

"Yes! Yes, that's your Dad!" She picked Julia up and whirled her around the room.

"Aimee, Aimee! Julia said her first word!" Aimee came careering up the stairs.

"What did she say?"

"Do it again…" Anna showed Julia the picture. She raised her finger.

"Dad," she stated. She didn't seem to realise what a colossal effect this was having on her mother and aunt. She simply sat there, oblivious to the happiness she was causing.

Anna couldn't sleep that night. It had finally hit her; Chris was gone. She had known it for a long time, but now she had almost accepted it. Day by day, she was getting over her crippling grief. But she had one last song to write.

She lit the fire and got out her notepad and pen.

_My Dearest Wish_

_Pushed together and pulled apart_

_I can only see shards of my broken heart_

_I long for you; do you long for me?_

_Are you still there; will you let me be free?_

_Will you grant me my wish?_

_Will you set me free?_

_Can I have one last kiss?_

_Just for me…_

_If I could,_

_I would tear the ground apart_

_And climb inside your grave beside you_

_To mend my shattered heart_

_This is my dearest wish,_

_My dark desire,_

_Hidden in the flames_

_Of my heart set on fire_

_Don't fall away from my heart too_

_Don't leave me standing here_

_Grant my wish, I beg you_

_Release me from my fear_

_Will you grant me my wish?_

_Will you set me free?_

_Can I have one last kiss?_

_Just for me…_

_If I could,_

_I would tear the ground apart_

_And climb inside your grave beside you_

_To mend my shattered heart._

She didn't feel any better for writing it, she just felt a strange sense of peace as she wrote down her true feelings. She couldn't cry anymore; her tears were all spent.

She looked at her song one last time, then threw it into the fire. She watched the smoke rise.

"Goodbye, Chris," she whispered, "Goodbye…"

_[**A/N** That's the end of part one everyone, expect Part 2 to be coming soon! I hope you have enjoyed it so far! Oh, and apologies for the corny songs.]_


End file.
